"Sex And The City" Just Turned 20, And We Couldn’t Help But Wonder: Should Carrie Have Picked Aidan?
In a perfect world, we would have world peace, no traffic and Carrie Bradshaw would have ended up with Aidan Shaw (they even almost have the same surnames!). But of course, world peace seems like galaxies away, traffic is worse than ever, and we’ve all had to live with Carrie’s decision to marry Mr. Big for about 10 years now.
On the occasion of Sex and The City’s 20th anniversary, we couldn’t help but wonder: Should Carrie have picked Aidan?
It’s been said Mr. Big was Carrie’s great love. Maybe. But was she his? Here are just some of the facts: he jerked Carrie around for as long as he could, wanting her when he couldn’t have her and kicking her aside when she was all there for the taking. He made her ‘the other woman’ when he cheated on Natasha. He was a shitty friend when he came up to Aidan’s cabin to talk to Carrie about his troubles (he was dating this actress and according to him ‘she could always reach him, but he could never reach her.’ Yeah, sounds familiar). He had the nerve to get in a muddy fistfight with Aidan, and oh yeah, he chickened out from their wedding the first time!
If Carrie were your friend, you would abso-fucking-lutely tell her to stay away from Big and hold out for the kind of guy who would never short-change her in any way. Aidan was it. He was and is the embodiment of every girl’s ideal, the nice guy who shouldn’t have finished last.
Here are the things Aidan did right:
1. He built things--literally and figuratively.
This big, burly man made sturdy furniture for a living. The attention to detail he gave his projects and the quality in which he did them was impressive. At the start of their relationship, Carrie was being flaky and even had the gall to ask Aidan to be less available so she could miss him, to which he obliged. He waited until Carrie was ready to take things to the next level. He wanted to build the foundation of their relationship the right way, and never rushed her or demanded from her that which she wasn’t ready to give.
2. He forgave her constantly, for the little things and the big things.
When Carrie took Pete out for a walk (to talk to Big), and lost him, Aidan didn’t get mad. He comforted her. When Carrie invited Big to their cabin getaway for the weekend, sure, Aidan wasn’t thrilled about it, but he took it like a man. And when she cheated on him, eventually he forgave her and got back with her (only for Carrie to crush his heart yet again).
He always chose love. Over pain, over being right, over himself. Which to some people might signal that he’s weak, but truth is, it takes real strength to choose love and choose to be vulnerable.
3. He was good to her friends.
He went to Miranda when she threw out her back and didn’t make it awkward for her. He built furniture to give as a wedding gift to Charlotte and Trey. He also went to Miranda’s mom’s funeral when she passed away. He was there for Steve.
He treated her friends like his, and always made extra effort whenever he can.
4. He kept communication lines open.
He always wanted to connect with her and figure out how to get in her heart. She was there, but she wasn’t really there. There was always something stopping her from fully committing to him and letting him in. But nevertheless, he was up for the challenge, and tried to understand her and give her what she needed—whether it was space, a new laptop, or even her apartment.
He always wanted to be close to her, but she was always trying to put something in between them.
5. He accepted Carrie—warts, cheating, and ridiculous obsession with expensive shoes and all.
However way you look at it, Aidan loved Carrie in ways that most people only dream about. He always found a way to look past her faults and never take it against her even if he could’ve. If Carrie can’t love a man the same way, it’s probably a good thing she ended up with a guy like Big.
After looking this list over, one thing to realize is that while all of #TeamAidan wanted Carrie to pick Aidan, we should really be glad she didn’t. He was too good for her, and he deserved better. And so in the spirit of looking at the bright side, we therefore conclude that in a city of eight million people in 2002 (the last time Aidan figured prominently in the SATC TV narrative) our favorite New Yorker Ms. Bradshaw made her choice and eventually found her match in Mr. Big with whom she probably truly belonged.