9 Lessons We Learned About Adulting From Heart Evangelista And Chiz Escudero
Being a responsible and mindful adult isn't always easy. In fact, it rarely is!
Adulting can be a real tough nut to crack even for the most grown-up of us, including Heart Evangelista and Senator Chiz Escudero. This fashion icon-slash-artist and politician duo has gone through their fair share of bumps in the road, both going through their own challenging periods of maturation that have allowed them to emerge more experienced, wiser, and stronger after the passing of the ordeal.
Adulting—it really is a rite of passage, one that often feels more like an ongoing process, rather than a singular episode. Everyone deals with it differently, but one thing that comforts anyone who's ever grappled with the demands of adult life is knowing that others have gone (or are going) through similar experiences. From these kindered spirits, we learn from and emulate—and you can't find a better source of learning than Heart and Chiz themselves!
The happily married couple recently got on camera to talk about all they've learned from adult life so far (while admitting that much is yet to be discovered—fortunately or unfortunately, that's up to you to decide).
Here's what they taught us about adulting:
Things don't always go as you envisioned
This one might seem obvious, but when it does happen to us or someone close to us, it doesn't make the experience any less painful or unsettling. It's a concept that it's easy enough to understand in theory, though its practical application requires a whole other, more advanced skillset!
You pass this adulting test when you're able to pick yourself up after the disappointment, then dissect the message that life is trying to send you: you're meant for other things.
Academic performance isn't always an accurate success indicator
This tidbit of advice might seem more appropriate for school-age young adults, but take into consideration the greater context in which the Senator shared his own experience of this. He breezed through his grade school and high school years without earning a single honor, but excelled the moment he got a hang of Law School—because he finally found something he loved and interested him.
His average performance in his earlier years might not have been impressive, but it was not at all a prediction of a mediocre future for him.
In adulthood, the closest comparison to this is finding a job, profession, business, or any productive activity you're more than willing to invest yourself in. Find your calling, just as he did.
Pay attention to your needs
At several points in our lives, we will question if we chose the right path. This is especially true for our career choices when we find ourselves reflecting on our finances, personal accomplishments, levels of self-actualization, and basically just how far we've gotten in life.
According to Senator Chiz, there's really no one answer to the great, big question of, "Did I choose the right career?"
His answer is simple: pay attention to what you need most at the moment. If you're in search of financial security, steer yourself towards a high-paying and stable job. If a creative outlet is what your soul is screaming for, be unafraid to experiment with an artistic job. Limiting yourself to just one direction won't cut it; be brave and explore.
Equilibrium is achievable
Practicality and passion are not mutually exclusive. Finding a balance between the two is not a myth.
The open secret to achieving equilibrium lies in the fact that you can pursue passions outside of work. Many people function under the assumption that a job must fulfill all needs, both practical and personal, yet the reality is, a job might simply provide stability at the expense of personal desires.
To set an achievable goal of balancing these two concepts, make sure to give time to invest in passions after office hours, or over the weekend. It's one of the most adult ways of handling this conundrum.
It really does, but so does your ability to manage your own finances. It's not enough to just know how you can enjoy spending money; any responsible adult will know how to check bank balances, when payables are due, and how to save and where to invest.
For married couples, it's also totally acceptable to consider setting a pre-nup in place.
Avoid impulse buying
This applies to both men and women, but ladies especially, listen up! Heart and Chiz want you to know that when you see something on sale but don't need it, it is always considered expensive and almost never "sulit."
To help you decide if you really need something, let a couple of days pass. If you've forgotten about it or if the desire to purchase has dissipated, then you know not to spend your hard earned bucks on it. If you've discovered that you indeed might have one or two (or three or four) uses for it, then you can consider taking it home.
Be practical on dates
Being in love or finding a partner you want to shower with all the comforts and luxuries the world can offer doesn't mean breaking your bank account for them—that's being rather careless and very un-adult!
In particular, Heart and Chiz bring up the often undiscussed issue of men paying for half of date bills. A rule of thumb a couple can follow is that if one person can't afford to pay for the entirety of the bill on their own, it's best to find an establishment that is lighter on the pocket.
It's also a good way to lay down the financial foundations of a relationship should it become a serious commitment.
Shame on you, shame on me
On breakups: it's okay to feel hurt and grieve over a lost relationship in the unfortunate instance that you find yourself as the one left behind (i.e.: broken up with). This is especially true if the separation was caused by a terrible grievance like third party involvement or other breaches of trust.
However, if you decide to get back together with the same individual who hurt you once before and find yourself in the same pool of tears should the situation repeat itself, that might be your fault.
Learn from your own experiences and don't be made a fool twice by the same person.
Searching for your mission in life, that is. Don't go through life thinking that you have a single mission to fulfill, and when that's done, your purpose is fuflilled.
Life is full of many things to accomplish, big or small, and your talents, expertise, and advice will be needed in many situations by many people. Go through life searching for ways you can help and be of service to others.
The same goes for never stopping fighting the good fight. In adulthood, the Senator proclaims that there will be many, many times that you'll fall. Some falls might be higher and injurious than others, but don't tally the falls; count the number of times you rose up and decided to keep going. It's the ups that matter most—not the downs.
Photo from @iamhearte