Ready To Welcome Baby No. 2: Patty Laurel-Filart Shares 3 Pieces Of Advice For First-Time Moms
Host and blogger Patty Laurel-Filart, who is expecting her baby no. 2 with husband Patrick Filart, is due anytime now. The blooming mom is about 36 weeks pregnant with a baby girl whom the couple has decided to call Astrid Nicola. Their first child, baby boy Theo Oliver, will turn three in July.
At the Babyzen Philippines event last week—where a new and exclusive color pack for the YOYO all-in-one stroller featuring Air France’s Airline colors was launched—Patty was glowing as she talked about motherhood alongside stories on her experiences with using YOYO.
Babyzen - YOYO ambassadors Iya Villania-Arellano and Patty Laurel-Filart are both expecting baby no. 2. / Photo by Grace Libero-Cruz
She shared that the YOYO stroller was something she asked for from her husband as a gift. She wanted it so much that she even had to ask him to buy it for her during one of his trips abroad since about two years ago, it was not yet available in the Philippines.
(From left) lya Villania-Arellano, Claudine Chan (the exclusive distributor of Babyzen in the Philippines), and Patty Laurel-Filart / Photo by Grace Libero-Cruz
As a mother, Patty is obviously the type who is smart and very particular about her baby-related purchases. YOYO, for instance, is a product she considers a great investment because it’s durable, safe and comfortable for the baby, and extremely convenient and compact for mommy and daddy.
Made for parents who are always on the go, she loves bringing it not just for traveling but even for going to the mall as well; she specifically shared how riding the escalator with it is easy, because it folds and unfolds in a jiffy. YOYO is the first stroller accepted as a cabin luggage, and it comes with a transport bag!
Babyzen's YOYO by Air France / Photo by Grace Libero-Cruz
YOYO addresses the growing baby's needs, because each stroller frame may be modified into three ways: a 0+ version suitable from birth, a car seat, and a 6+ stroller for babies older than six months. There are also useful accessories, such as footmuff, YOYO+ board, parasols, mosquito nets, car seat adapters, and cup holder that may be bought to make bringing it around much easier and convenient.
Created by French company Babyzen, the YOYO stroller transforms into a stroller for a newborn, a car seat, a stroller for a baby older than six months, and a cabin-friendly luggage that may be carried backpack or sling bag style. / Photo courtesy of Babyzen
Here, Patty talks to Metro.Style about her pregnancy, motherhood, and parenting.
How is your first pregnancy different from this one?
Well, the first one, I would admit, was very easy. I got to work and travel a lot. Then this one, I guess, it’s coupled with age—all the aches and pains are coming out (laughs). But it only goes to show that each pregnancy is unique. It has its own story, so it’s not like there’s a formula to follow.
What were your food cravings then and now?
I guess, even if I’m not pregnant, matakaw talaga ako. So, my husband keeps on saying, “Parang walang nagbago. You still have the same appetite.” But now, I have an excuse. But for me, coming into the second pregnancy, I’m just so thankful that I’m given another chance to do it all over again.
Even if it’s different—of course, there are still aches and pains, and it’s not smooth-flowing everyday—I guess the food aspect would be, aside from nutrition, really your treat. Imagine, being a mom to a toddler, plus pregnant, plus working. It’s already so hard and challenging. I’m sure any mom can relate. Food is my comfort and reward.
How did you tell your son that he’s about to have a baby sister?
When I found out I was pregnant and when I told my husband about it, we were super happy because we really wanted to have a second child. I remember we were jumping, and then it dawned on us that it was bittersweet, “Oh no, it’s like an end of an era of having Theo as an only child.” My hormones! It’s like I’m so happy to welcome a new one but at the same time, he won’t be alone anymore. And I’m so close to my son. So my husband and I ended up crying.
That is our prayer, that he would welcome the baby with open arms. The first time we said it, he was a bit in denial, which happens for most families, so we were ready for that. But, I think, as we would really have conversations with him and involve him with all the milestones, like showing him the ultrasound photos and even giving him photos of himself when he was a baby, he understood it more, and now he’s very malambing. He makes invented songs for the baby. Even when we have friends around, he’s the first one to say, “Guess what, I have a baby sister!” It’s something that they need to process on their own, so you just have to be patient.
NOBELA: At my recent check up my OB Dr.Cora De Jesus said something that left me in tears on the way home. She remarked at how close I was to Theo and how he has grown to be such a sweet&thoughtful child, even if I was not able to breastfeed him. ?? naiyak talaga ako because it was so nice to hear it and get that much needed validation. I remember the day after my surgery, when I was forced to come to terms with the fact that my breastfeeding journey had ended...the first thing that came to mind was "but what about this magical bond between mom/child, will we be deprived of that now that I cannot feed through my breast?' it ripped me into pieces and I felt terribly sad, inadequate and insecure as a new mom. Over time, I was able to find my own groove and God allowed me to find peace in knowing that HE IS walking with me and Patrick every step of the way. I still get anxiety attacks thinking about it because it was a very traumatic experience for me. Pat has just been so patient to help me when I have my little meltdowns and lavishes me with hugs and prayers. But believe it or not, To this day, I am still a strong believer in the powers of breast milk! And the closeness fostered between mom&child through the experience is truly priceless (along with the long list of health benefits!). But for the rest of us who by choice or circumstance cannot breastfeed, it's comforting to know that our children will love us just the same ???? And that even with our handicap, they still see us as WHOLE MOMS. Our children see us the way God sees us with so much grace and love ??And that is why I'm convinced that this whole motherhood gig is truly God-breathed!!! This applies to all MOMS! And it helps to be surrounded by open minded and open hearted moms: the real champions in my life! Along with Patrick---my girlfriends really cheered me on from day one and nourished me with words of encouragement ?? I don't know what will happen this time around with Nicola, it's all in God's hands! if by some miracle I can breastfeed then HOORAY!! but if I am unable to, then it's still a HOORAY and I will be grateful to Jesus just the same ???? @patrickfilart #everydaywiththeo
Who is more of a disciplinarian between you and your husband?
I would have to say my husband, and I actually appreciate that, because my husband is really hands-on. Even if he has so many things to do at work, when he comes home, he’s really present. That’s something I don’t take for granted.
And I realized that for parents, it’s not just all on the mom, it should also be on the dad. It’s a shared experience and, of course, there are stereotypes that it should just be the mom taking care of the child and, for some, I’m happy and proud of them, but it you have the opportunity to have a good partner in your husband then it’s good also to encourage him to have an equal partnership, because most moms don’t realize that dads actually want that. They also actually appreciate when they’re given the space and confidence from a mom to say na, “Sige, kaya mo na ’yan, and I believe in you.”
What is your most important learning as a first-time mom?
That you’ll never really figure it out. I have a lot of inspirations from moms who are older than me and it’s their humility that inspires me. When you have that approach that you know that you’re only human, you have your limitations and you won’t have it all figured out everyday, it’s that humility that will actually push you to try harder and to understand that, you know, I need God to come in everyday and help me to do better.
There are days when, like any mom, you’ll have a meltdown or it just gets overwhelming, but when you understand, you try to just recalibrate and say, you know what, this is a gift that I’m chosen to be a mom to this boy and to this baby. I have a decision to make, it’s whether to approach it as a gift or to approach it as something else.
What are your top three pieces of advice for first-time moms?
First, always believe that God created you specifically for this child and in that sense, that means that you’re the one who knows best. It’s great to read books, to go on forums, to read all these articles, but at the end of the day, you know your truth and you’ll know what’s best for your child, and you just have to trust in that.
Second, don’t ever forget that, aside from being a mom, you’re also a wife and your husband is really there to be your support system. So sometimes, it can get overwhelming when you lack sleep and you’ll lash out on your husband because you don’t have a choice, he’s the only one there. So, sometimes, you have to take a deep breath and realize that he is in it with you as well for the journey. So, you really have to be teammates in that sense.
Third, motherhood is not predictable at all. Even if people say this and that, understand that you have your own story and you have your own understanding of what motherhood is. Your child will appreciate you no matter what happens, whether you’re a stay-at-home or a working mom, your child will appreciate you. You’re doing your best as a mom.
Photographs by @sheilacatilo and @happyfolks_mnl from @pattylaurel