Metro Society Dads And Their Advocacies: Hayden Kho

The reason behind why we are undergoing this pandemic caused by COVID-19 is still unknown. But for Dr. Hayden Kho, he saw it as a way to be of service to others. Even before the pandemic began and the country experienced different forms of “community quarantine,” Hayden and the Belo Group sprang into action. “Even before the President announced the lockdown, we already decided to close the clinics, to keep our employees and customers safe. We also committed to them that we will support them through the whole lockdown. Obviously, that hurt us a little bit in terms of finances, but we’re very serious about our corporate values—it’s always people before profits.”

Equipment and supplies that would be useful to frontliners, such as Personal Protective Equipment (PPEs), disinfectants, masks, gloves and the like were released from the Belo warehouse and distributed to their partner hospitals. As a doctor himself, he knew the daily plight of frontliners consisted of more than outward protection—they needed to be nourished from the inside out. Through the partnership with Cloud Eats, a cloud kitchen service, they were able to provide thousands of meals a day to frontliners located in different hospitals, and also provide jobs for those involved in the food preparation and the delivery service aspect of it—it was a good, efficient service all around.

But beyond the immediate needs of the frontliners—being clothed and fed—feeling nourished from the inside meant having a reason to keep on going, something to uplift their spirits. Hayden happily shared that when the frontliners would receive their donated equipment, they would sometimes forgo taking photos of the masks and PPEs, because they were more thrilled over the box that donned Scarlet’s artwork and signature. “She wanted to draw on the boxes so that it’s personalized. The funny thing is that the hospitals would request for Scarlet to draw on the boxes. What brought them joy was not just the face masks, but that the box was from Scarlet. It was very cute!” Hayden adds.

Scarlet Snow Belo, the 5-year-old daughter of Hayden and his wife, founder of the Belo Medical Group Dr. Vicki Belo, is one of the most famous children in the country. Her adorable stories and posts on Instagram garner thousands of likes and comments, and the sweet, talented girl used her influence for the greater good during these trying times. “As a father, I saw this time as an opportunity to teach Scarlet the value of charity, because I think it’s foundational for our character,” Hayden explains. “There are four foundations for our family: the foundation of meaning, of what is right and wrong, of charity, and accountability. This was an opportunity to show Scarlet that our lives are not meant for just ourselves. It was coming from my position as a father, as the head of the family, and a learning opportunity for Scarlet.”

Seeing as Scarlet enjoys arts and crafts, they move forward to creating homemade masks using readily available materials around the home, to show others that they too can create their own masks. “Our ribbons were red and green because they were Christmas ribbons, and we always save those. We don’t have extra foam, but we have bubble wrap, so we used that instead,” Hayden says.

Scarlet, who celebrated her birthday during the early part of March, also chose to donate her birthday money to those in need. “We asked for donations for the pandemic, and we said that we have to be the first one to put the money—put your money where your mouth is. We can’t just ask people for money and not do our part. It was a good way to support those who need it more.” The fundraising amounted to six figures, a donation that surely went a long way.

It seems as if with everything that Hayden does, it is centered on his faith in God. He views situations in such a way that a lesson can be learned or taught, and there is a positive, faith-driven action that can done. “Everyday I spend an hour praying in my prayer room. It’s a very small area where I listen to music, to worship songs, and then I spend the rest of the hour, sometimes more, praying and even crying, believe it or not. My prayer is about two things. Number one, it’s fatherlessness, and the second is the moral structure of our nation. You see all of these things happening, all these issues—all these things are moral issues. The hearts of people need to change. And, we’re going deep here—we’re not answering the question of purpose. We’ve forgotten who we are, who we are from, and what we’re meant to do. And that is linked to fatherlessness. The fathers of this nation have forgotten their role as fathers. There’s this bible verse that goes, ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to him.’ You learn four things of the function of a father from that verse. First, it’s the role of giving the identity of a child. In the case of Scarlet, I explain to her, this is who you are. I help her discover her gifts, her unique characteristics and personality, what she says yes and no to. The second role is emotional security is also important, being there and not neglectful. The third is affirmation—if you don’t get affirmation, you’ll go looking for affirmation from people who you don’t know are ready to exploit you, or in all the wrong places. And the last is authority—it is the role of the father to teach their children the difference between right and wrong. So since the family is the cell of the society, and if the family is broken down, what do we have as a society? A society that doesn’t know what is right and wrong, an insecure society, a confused and disjointed world.” 

It’s obvious that Hayden feels very strongly about this, and he saw this time of the pandemic to go inwards and spend time with his family. “It gave us the opportunity to look internally and externally, to change our perspective,” he muses, “I always say that the biggest tragedy of this crisis is that if after this, we didn’t learn anything and we didn’t change at all—as a person, as a group, and also with regards to our relationship with God. At this time, I became more humble, more prayerful, more submissive. I really learned what is truly important. I take my role as a father really seriously—I read books about fatherhood and parenting, I have asked a few people to be my mentors, I ask advisors to coach me on fatherhood and being a husband. I surround myself with great people. And as I just turned 40 and it was just Father’s Day, I will be scrutinizing my performance as a husband and father, asking myself questions during my own personal quiet time. One of the big questions I asked myself is if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life, in terms of vocation, and my answer is already no. I think during the first forty years of my life, God was training me. I think that’s why I went through all those things and scandals, all the struggles, because He wants to work in me. Now, the next part is that God wants to work through me. I think the next season of my life will be about discipling others, mentoring others, teaching new fathers. I’m ready for this new stage.”