Metro.Style #HipAndHappeningMoms 2019: Feliz Lucas
“I guess the most challenging thing now is just really living around the pain,” Feliz Lucas shares as she and husband Jay Jay recall their daughter Caitlin’s battle with juvenile myelomonocytic leukemia (JMML). Caitlin passed away in 2016 at only three years old. The story of Courageous Caitie, which was documented by her parents on social media touched the hearts of many and inspired them to keep their faith no matter what struggles they experience in life. As a mother, it's painful to let go, but if there’s anything Feliz learned throughout this journey, it’s that pain can be one's friend.
Three years after that devastating phase in their lives, Feliz continues to move forward, and has made it her mission to help women who go through grief and depression. Apart from managing a small counsel group, she's busy running a couple of businesses with her husband and taking care of her kids Ethan and Calea.
With two kids, Feliz and Jay Jay stick to a daily routine that can be pretty much summarized this way: upon waking up, they do their morning devotion; kids and Jay Jay go biking while Feliz prepares breakfast; they then homeschool after the meal and do random mind-enriching activities for the little ones every afternoon. Soon, they will have to come up with another system to make things more efficient in their household since the couple is expecting another addition to their lovely family.
Feliz believes that putting Jesus in the core of their family is key to putting everything in perspective. She reveals, “I didn’t have a good childhood growing up, so I had this plan that when I get married, I would be this kind of mom. But it didn’t happen. When Caitie passed away, I guess God reminded me that I have to love Him more than motherhood, my children, or myself. And I’m learning to really love Jesus more than anything. When I do that, I believe I actually become a better parent."
On Ethan and Calea: Clothes by Gingersnaps
How is life so far as a mother of two (plus there's another baby on the way, too)?
"Let’s just say I cannot do it without my husband. It’s difficult. You have to prioritize things and choose what matters most."
What is your parenting style?
"I do a lot of processing. I want my children to think. I want them to do things—I give them opportunities. They know it’s okay to make mistakes. If they fall and get a bruise, they learn from it and move forward. I don’t instill on them my values. I want them to experience the values. Like me, I love Jesus, but I don’t want them to love Jesus just because I tell them to. I want them to experience it. I don’t want them to borrow my faith. It’s about bringing out who they are."
How did you get back in shape after giving birth?
"I guess it’s breastfeeding. On my third child, nagkaroon ako ng mommy pouch. So I wanted to exercise but I couldn’t, so at home, we’re more selective of the food instead. We try not to have junk food at home. And then we get the cheat treats outside."
What's the best piece of advice you've received about motherhood, and from whom?
"Somebody told me to love God not for what He can do for you, but for who He is. I realized it’s the same with motherhood. Sometimes, we love our kids or husband or God, that we have this expectation of what they can do for us. But you just have to love them for who they are. And to pray because I expect not for God to answer my prayer, but because I want to get to know him. I guess when you grow to love Jesus and you serve Him with your husband, there’s this kind joy, contentment, glow, and blessing if you put Him first. When I put him first, great things really do happen and it’s encouraging me to do more."
What’s the most fulfilling thing about being a mother?
"When you see your children be great with other people, do things, solve things, figure things out, be so respectful, be so grateful. That even if life isn’t perfect, we’re in the right direction. Things can continue to change."
"I guess interruptions can happen, but always look forward to the hope that things can change. Go back to your truth; find out what your truth is"
Photos from @felizlucas
Produced by Grace Libero-Cruz
Photography by Rxandy Capinpin
Makeup by Verna Marin for L'Oreal Paris
Hairstyling by Vivere Salon
Styling by Gelie Manansala
Special thanks to YummyTummy.PH
Visit Metro.Style again for more #HipAndHappeningMoms Mother's Day special features.