3 Horrible Reasons To Rush Into Marriage
Recently, A-list celebrities (e.g. Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson, Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin, and Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas) had been announcing their engagements after merely months (or even weeks) of dating. While we don’t judge them for having speedy engagements, these types of news may leave people thinking “hey, if they can do it, so can we!”
But hold your horses, sweethearts! It has been proven time and time again that couples who get married for the wrong reasons end up separating after a few years, or worse, tend to live the rest of their lives in a miserable marriage.
So before you jump into the bandwagon, make sure you’re in it NOT just because of these three most common yet truly deceiving reasons to get engaged:
1. Your ticking “biological clock.”
Ah yes, you’re at that age when you see babies all around you and you literally dream about having one of your own...but you may be “running out of time.” Though fertility concerns shouldn’t be ignored, a more important issue to examine is the person you’re entering into a parental relationship with.
Making a lifelong commitment with someone for their biological capacity to make a child, even when you’re not genuinely compatible could inevitably lead to future marital problems. Take note: anger, resentment, conflict, and regret (among others) are not top-notch ingredients in raising a psychologically healthy child. So if your desire to become a parent is overshadowing your relationship issues, you might be better off looking at other solo-parenting options.
2. Everyone in your barkada is getting married.
I get it. Your social media timeline is full of your friends getting engaged, having to-die-for weddings, or throwing baby showers. It is truly a tough position to be in that would make you reflect about your life and your timeline. If you feel left out and a part of you is anxious about losing your friends to wedding bells and having families of their own, rushing yourself into marriage with this person you’re currently dating may not be the best solution. Yes, the idea may seem romantic now, (think: barkada couple outings, marriage encounters, etc. etc.) but what happens when you’re alone with your new hubby and you figured that um...he’s not the person you really want to be with? Uh oh.
So before even hinting on getting hitched, ask yourself: are you certain that being married to this person is better than being alone binge-watching your favorite show on a Saturday night?
3. You're scared that saying "no" means "buh-bye" to your relationship.
Fear is a universal motivator. That’s a fact. But acting on something to avoid what scares you is not the finest motivator when you’re making one of the biggest decisions of your life. Maybe your partner wants to get you off the market right away and even gives you an ultimatum.
If your partner throws you the if-we-don’t-get-married-then-let’s-just-call-it-off line, then maybe it’s better to really call it off, don’t you think? Having someone pressure you into doing something that you may not be ready for does not seem fair to either of you. You have the right to give yourself time and space to examine your feelings and reflect if you really want to get married now. Do know that couples who are happy and satisfied in their relationships share mutual respect, trust, and a boatload of patience and understanding with each other. Now, if your partner would rather leave than give these things to you, then you deserve someone else.
These are just three reasons among the many that could eventually lead to unfavorable consequences on your marriage (and even you!) in the long run. If you’re uncertain whether or not getting married to your current beau is for the best, I suggest that you talk to a professional marriage counselor or relationships therapist to help you decide. And if you both want, you may even go and find out together! Trust the science, it works.