How To Deal With Your Lady When She Thinks She's Always Right
Are you always right? If you answered yes to this question, give yourself one point. Is your man always wrong? If you also answered yes, give yourself another point. Bad news: Two points means you may have to re-evaluate yourself.
Here, our dad-advisers talk about what to do if (not when) you’re always right.
Communication is the key in any relationship, especially when you’re married, since things tend to
get blurry when you’re arguing. Words are said and fingers are pointed as to who’s at fault. From most guys I know, I’ve heard that the wife is always right, no matter what. I think it is impossible for someone to never be wrong. There are times you have to step up and tell your wife she’s wrong. There’s nothing wrong with a woman who thinks she’s always right, but sometimes you have to put your foot down. You can’t be a “yes man” all the time. I can’t blame some guys who do not want to rock the boat just to avoid arguments, but a healthy relationship is when each party gets to speak one’s mind.
For the ladies reading this, maybe oftentimes you are right, but you also have to realize your own faults and not just blame your man. It takes two to tango. Communication goes two ways and not just one way. Don’t do the blame game. Life will be better and it will help the relationship more when no one person holds too tight to that power. In the end, it’s about the couple finding a compromise and admitting when they’re at fault. And whoever is in the right shouldn’t gloat about it. Just explain the situation. Remember, you are both on the same team with one goal and vision.
I think the best way to respond when your wife thinks she’s always right is, first, when your wife is right, humble yourself and acknowledge it. But if she is not right and she just thinks she’s always right, I think that is because there’s a need to show your love for her. Then she can begin to see and level with you, and maybe realize, “Why do I think that I’m always right? There must be a deeper reason why I’m like this.”
How to help your wife feel loved? The love language is a great tool that I have learned from Dr. Gary Chapman. These love languages are five-fold:
- Words of affirmation
- Physical touch
- Quality time
Figure out what your wife’s love language is. She may have more than one, she may have all five, but there will be a dominant one. And then when she thinks she’s always right, and you know that she is not right in that moment
that she thinks that way, go to the love language and shower that upon her. For example, if your wife’s love language is words, say, “Hey, baby, I don’t know why you’re thinking and acting like this. But I want you to know I love you very much.” Having done that, then you can say, “Well, I don’t know why you’re thinking like this, but actually, it’s not right.”
When your wife is wrong, what’s the best way to deal with it? I like the sandwich approach—positive, correction, and then positive. A sandwich has two buns, with a filling. You start off with a “bun” and you say something positive like “Hey babe, you know I appreciate you so much...” and then, you hit them with the “meat.” Say, “But you know, I just want to call out, it wasn’t actually right, what you were saying.” And then you go back to saying something positive. So, sandwich what you want to say with something nice and positive. So you say, “But, you know, I respect your opinion, your great insights. I want you to know I love you.” This approach works in any relationship.
About Our Columnists:
You know me as Edric Mendoza, former host of ANC’s “On the Money.” I’m also an “edupreneur” and a Registered Financial Planner, happily married with five beautiful kids.
I’m Slick Rick? of Magic 89.9’s “Boys Night Out.” Yes, I’m married and I’ll give you my opinion as one of the boys. Let’s enjoy. Yeah, meeen!