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Owning Your Power In The Bedroom # 3: Fulfilling A Fantasy

Sex on the Beach

Thinking of getting it on in the beach? A husband and wife should play all the time. Just keep these rules in mind.

The moon is illumined by the twinkling of stars, the waves lap at the shore, and the sheer beauty of nature is enough to make most people want to take their clothes off and risk being a little frisky. True, you generally have less clothes on at the beach, so maybe that makes it easier to explain why sex on the beach remains at the top of most people’s list of fantasies.

What do you do when the opportunity to turn that fantasy into a proudly ticked off item on your bucket list comes? How do you turn some nookie into the beach as a perfect night cap? 

For starters, you need to be cautious. And no, we’re not talking about condoms yet. Be careful and mindful of the laws in your island paradise. Indecent exposure and other indecent acts are illegal. The Spanish party island of Ibiza issues an on-the-spot fine of €700 ($1,000) if you get caught sunbathing on top of one another. Italy will slap you with a €300 fine plus two years in prison. These countries mean business, and they are not appreciative of risky behavior out on the shore. Take heed and be cautious. A hot night should not have to cool down in a prison cell. 

Next, check out the terrain and pick a place where you can remain out of sight. Look for a nice little cabana or a rustic nipa hut where you can lose yourself in the shadows. Even that spot behind the big rock— provided that it has sand all around it—would be good. Whatever you do, skip the bushes and other forms of foliage because your romantic interlude might turn into a bad case of rashes—and ants, and teenie weenie worms. (You’ll have to have a damn good story to explain why there are rashes down there.) Sex in the water is a good alternative. It can provide the liquid motion and undulation you might never be able to muster on terra firma. Just remember that this is salt water and it may interfere with you getting wet where it counts. Go gently so the romantic moment doesn’t turn into an ouchy uncomfortable experience. 

Wear easy-access clothes. Your flowing maxi dress will welcome pelvic action and provide good cover. Make sure your guy is wearing something equally welcoming like shorts with an easy access fly. Zippers may not be such a good idea in this scenario. 

Easy-access clothes also make for a quick escape in case the beach patrol or some drunk beachgoer comes sauntering by. Even if you still have the sand and surf to yourself, you will still need to be quick about your business. Cuddling, spooning and most other forms of afterplay will have to be reserved for part two of this hook-up. Out in the open, on the beach, you have to quickly disengage and put on your best innocent look—even though it is one with a telling afterglow. 

Lastly, the bit about bodily protection. A time for impulsive sex on the beach may not exactly be the safest time for an intimate encounter. So don’t forget to take the necessary precautions. If a tiny condom can’t remain hidden in your even tinier bikini, think about emergency contraception after. A hot date out on the beach shouldn’t have to turn into an unexpected due date— if you don’t want to. Besides, when you’ve got yourself covered and protected, you’ll find it that much easier to throw caution to the wind, let your hair down and get it on to the beat of those lapping waves.



Arousal in Public

Looking for an adventurous way to stimulate each other? Our sexpert has many ideas, but check out the one below to give you ultra-excitement.


Q. My hubby and I were watching The Ugly Truth and personally, I got intrigued with Katherine Heigl’s vibrating panties! Do we have that here? I have this fantasy of using toys in public (much like Katherine’s dinner scene), and my hubby is game to play with me! Any tips for our private public display?

A. Let me just start off with a personal disclosure: I have that fantasy, too! Isn’t it exciting to have a sort of secret handshake (only with another part shaking) that only you and your husband know? Yes, it’s arousing sexually, but it also facilitates a certain kind of trust and intimacy between you two! Some tips for first-timers:

1. Set ground rules. When you enter a sexual relationship, it is imperative to set rules. Though playing with toys may seem basic, bringing it out in public should entail that you guys talk about where and when it’s okay and NOT okay to be remotely stimulating each other (e.g., any place of worship; business meetings; while driving?). 

2. Assign a safe word. Because your partner is the one in control, you have to be able to let him know when you’re waaaay over the edge or too uncomfortable for anything explosive. The safe word does that. Be safe. Have that.

3. Take a chill pill. Because it’s something new, most people become too excited to get their partner to the Big O. Remind yourselves that it’s not a race. Relax. Enjoy the sensations. Take pleasure in watching each other squirm in delight!

4. Share. I know it’s your fantasy, but toys can be shared, too! If your hubby is up to it, why not take turns and share the thrill of being controlled? You’ll never know what you’ll discover!

5. Be discreet. Though you may share the thrill, this sexy thing is not for everyone, so it’s best to be considerate of others while you engage in this risky, kinky, act!

As for the presence of vibrating panties in the market, I am not certain, but you can try and look at ilya sex store in QC for awesome vibrating paraphernalia. #takeitfromthesexpert




Rica Cruz-Evangelista is a Licensed Psychologist with the Ateneo Bulatao Center for Psychology Services, and a faculty member at the Ateneo de Manila University. She trained in sex therapy and counseling at the University of Guelph.

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