The 7 Resolutions For More Intimacy And Sizzle In Marriage
In time for Valentine’s Day, we decided to publish an article from Working Mom
magazine that made a profound impact on the sex life of many women readers. These are the 7 resolutions you should make now. Make the commitment. It’s life changing!
Take weekly “Sexplorations.” Yes. WEEKLY. Jot it down in your calendar. Time to “sexplore” will not only make your husband anticipate this time of the week, it will also give you two a chance to reconnect. So sacrifice an episode of your Koreanovela for your very own sexy-novela.
Reach out every day. Psychologist Dr. Gottman recommends having 20 minutes of meaningful connection with your spouse each day. Anything less than that could mean trouble. I know what you’re thinking. Twenty?! That’s too long! Well, honey, 20 minutes is a short time for a conversation. Ask him how his day went. Tell him about yours. Be truly interested in what the other has to say and I assure you, you two can go all night long.
Stop faking it! Ah, we’ve all been there. Moaning and pretending to be stimulated during the deed, but in our heads we’re all shouting, “Please finish!”, literally wishing the ‘supposedly’ pleasurable sex to end. Women often do this because we’re too embarrassed to tell our partners what we want. But, if he keeps on doing what he does, without doing you, then it’ll be a lifetime of acting worthy of an Oscar. And that’s just sad. Don’t be afraid to tell him what you want! Clue him in by batting your eyelashes and saying, "Babe, I really like it when you go down on me before we do the deed. Can we do it again?"
Stroke his ego. If the sex is good, should you still talk about it? Of course! Your hubby needs constant affirmation that he’s doing a good job. So let him know! Moan if he gets you on your pleasure spot and compliment him after. “I loved it when you kissed my neck while massaging my breasts. It felt really good.” Trust me, the moment he hears that, he’ll be so ecstatic, he will not be able to wait for a repeat. Care for round 2?
No kids in bed! Do I really need to explain this? Having a child in bed means zero sex. It will also keep you away from enjoying that cuddle and kissy-kissy time with your hubby. So, please, get the kids out of your bed and get your husband in you!
Put that damn phone down! Phones are like kids. Take them to bed with you and you're calling for a disaster! Not only will your sex life suffer, your relationship will suffer as well. The bedroom is for relaxing and lovemaking, not for Facebook, Instagram, Telegram, Snapchat, or any other social media—it’s like inviting other people to lie in bed between you two. Definitely not a place for mobile games either, unless it includes some stripping on the side. But if it doesn’t, then put that damn phone down.
Do something different! Get out of your comfort zone. Be spontaneous. Prepare surprises and prepare to be surprised. Having sex the same way, at the same time, and in the same position all the time? Well, it’s the best way to kill desire. That’s just boring and gives you nothing to look forward to. So what to do? If you’ve never watched porn together, watch it! Get a new toy and figure out together how it works. Have you heard of tantric sex? Learn it together and your sex life will never be the same. #takeitfromthesexpert
OUR LOVE & SEX EXPERT
Rica Cruz-Evangelista is a Licensed Psychologist with the Ateneo Bulatao Center for Psychology Services, and a faculty member at the Ateneo de Manila University. She trained in sex therapy and counseling at the University of Guelph.
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