follow us on

Wedding Cake Etiquette

How big should our cake be? Should we serve it? Can we have more than one? Find out the answers to these and more with these simple cake etiquette tips.

Your wedding cake can often be seen as the ultimate representation of your entire event. And as such you should be happy with what that representation portrays. It’s something to keep in mind when selecting the cake for your big day. Is you wedding chic and classic? Stylish and modern? Or trendy and unique? Either way, selecting the perfect cake can be quite daunting as you want the perfect marriage (pun intended) of trendy style and timeless beauty.

To make things easier, we answer your wedding cake queries and help make picking your big day dessert … a piece of cake!

Question: My husband and I both want different wedding cake flavors. Can we just have two cakes?

Metro Weddings: Yes, of course! In fact, why not give tradition a nod and opt for a groom cake? (We love groom cakes!). You  can have this in his favorite flavor!

Q.: Is it an absolute necessity to have a wedding cake? My fiancĂ© and I prefer ice cream or maybe a S’mores bar.

M.W.: There is really no ironclad rule that states you must have a big tiered wedding cake. But in addition to the sweets you do chose to serve, have something that you can both cut into and feed each other to symbolize the start of your shared life. Perhaps sweets or smaller cakes staggered on different stands are the best choice for you. That way, you can feature several delightful flavors and styles.

Q.: Is there such a thing as too big a wedding cake?

M.W.: Again, there are no set rules, but it is a good idea to really gauge why going gigantic is a good choice for you. A lot of the time there is so much leftover cake as the wedding cake usually serves as a centerpiece and not the dessert served during dinner. You can choose to select a very large cake, but be careful with design and aesthetic to prevent it from looking gaudy. A beautiful sleek design or minimalistic elements can keep a towering 12-tiered cake elegant instead of tacky. Additionally, keep the size of your venue in mind when deciding on how many tiers. A very small cake in a large grand ballroom may look too small, while a giant cake in a intimate rustic venue may seem out of place.

Q.: Do we serve the cake for dessert? Do we have to serve other desserts too?

M.W.: You can definitely serve the cake after dinner. It’s the perfect way to end your meal and let guests participate in your special wedding day dessert. However, some other couples also choose to put together a dessert table and serve smaller easier-to-eat desserts as well. While this is fun (and very customizable to suit your wedding theme), you are not obligated to put together a sweets table. Most buffet and set meal menus come with a dessert in the package so anything you add is just a fun extra. Sometimes, couples also use the dessert table as a giveaway as well, asking their guests to take home the desserts as a thank you for coming to the big day.


Photography of the de Castro-Robles wedding by Pat Dy