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Tita Tita: Weddings Nowadays

Photo by Micheile Henders on Unsplash

 

Tita, is Africa a good idea for a pre-wedding shoot?

Ay naku, this is so late. I was thinking about my next topic and I have been so, so, so tamad to get something going. You know, you need inspiration to write about something.

In my past life, there were press releases and materials to figure out what to write. I really admire those writers at my mother ship, Metro.Style, who can write everyday. Even the ever-gentleman Philip Cu-Unjieng who is like this fabulous columnist cum essayist cum wordsmith who can write about anything under the sun! Oye, isn’t he amazing?

Okay, let me tell you what gave me some ideas: este, the pre-nup photos of this boy Billy Crawford and his betrothed, Coleen Garcia. It's about this whole thing on a photo shoot in Ethiopia with locals, and they were flown to Addis Ababa with an entourage. Well, I was asked what I thought about that. Sabes, if this were the 70s, it would be like a Pucci or Yves Saint Laurent fashion pictorial. Ask what Larry Leviste thinks. Pero today, everything has to be politically correct. Honestly, the photos were spectacular. But I don’t think I want to debate about the shoot, and if it was right or wrong. I am more into the fact that it is so complicated to get married these days.

 

Photo by Bin Thi on Unsplash

 

Over the past few years, Tito and I have been attending weddings and have found them more and more elaborate, and the reception, extremely amplified. I remember when we got married about 30 years ago, it was really far less—este, production designed! I am surprised to get an invite that could compete for one of those unboxing videos in YouTube.

Let’s begin with the invite. I remember we had ours printed in San Francisco at I. Magnin on Union Square before it closed. It was simple, engraved, and came in two envelopes and not this unfathomably designed box. I found a calligrapher from the agency, and asked him to longhand (not computer print) out each envelope. Our guest list is just under 200 people for a mass at Forbes and reception at Polo. Tito finished it off with a seal of our initials.

Now, getting an invite is like receiving a new phone or laptop. In fact, opening an Apple computer is far simpler. What are these cards? Notes? Tokens? Even wardrobe themes? Am I missing out on something?

 

Photo by Morgan McDonald on Unsplash

 

And the videographers hired make multiple layouts like how magazines do it, no? For ours, we asked Wyg Tysman to photograph us, and we just posed for our wedding photo at the church and the reception venue.  No same-day edits, no fancy extras.

Pitoy, may he rest in peace, did a very simple wedding dress for me, and Tito wore a suit from his tailor in Hong Kong. Gowns were done by local designers, and the outfits of the entourage were done by really good modistas. Yes, a few had their international designer gowns, but that was really few. It was like Pitoy in Kasalan, gowns that are handed me down. I know it was expensive then, but when I checked around, the gowns today are far more expensive. Oh, and wedding expenses beat major payments for a new condo!

 

Photo by Photo Nic Co UK on Unsplash

 

Don’t get me started on the pre-nup videos. First, when I heard about it, I thought, "Wow, people are doing prenup arrangements already? So early? Pues, it’s all about the pictorials pala." When it first caught on, it was just simple, I think. Some photos in local areas with a wardrobe change or so, pero now, the wedding prenup video is like a whole telenovela—it’s like the making of a major movie. There was one wedding where the video was shot in different locations—overseas locations! My god, can you imagine keeping in shape, so you look the same all throughout the shoots?

Plus, the wardrobe changes! That means you need to have a stylist, a makeup artist, and a hairstylist. You can’t just pick stuff out of your closet. If that was me, I would end up in jeans, sport shirts, and loafers. Tito has far more outfits than I do. This whole craze, por Dios! I can’t believe that even debuts have become just as elaborate. The whole wedding now takes a village to set up.

 

Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography on Unsplash

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love the details, but how can you enjoy the day and the moment if there are too many moving parts?

The flowers alone have become like transporting the entire Versailles to the venue. Hence, the birth of the event stylist. The church and the flowers are one thing, but the venue is another thing—it's like an entire movie set!  Gardens and ballrooms transform into magical venues that will be totally forgotten after a few hours or days. Oh well, not really, especially with Instagram. One wedding we went to in Tagaytay completely transformed an idyllic garden to Hamptons, complete with canopies and sofas.

 

Photo from Pexels

 

But none of these really frazzles me. Actually, I enjoy seeing what people do to make their day memorable, but it’s the wait between the wedding and the reception—because of the post-wedding shoots—that's bothering me. I think planners, hosts, parents, and the couple should think about their guests.

Look, your wedding is at two in the afternoon, then cocktails are at six. The mass is done at four, you head off to the venue, like in a hotel and have to wait around in an area where no refreshments or chairs are available. I know they want to take special pictures, but what about the guests? Shouldn’t we think about them, too?

Tito and I usually go and eat something in between, then head back if we care to do so. But really, I think it can be very harsh to a lot of people, don’t you think?

 

Photo by Andreas Ronningen on Unsplash

 

For the reception, oh well, it is like watching a product launch. The big opening, with a super dance number. A band number with a mini-documentary, the long drawn-out toasts, and yes, the same-day edit with "oohs" and "aahs" is a visual overload, no?

Have we lost the essence of weddings? For me, I remember, I just wanted our parents to know we did the right thing. A fun affair like a big party without all the razz ma tazz. I know we ended and danced till past midnight with a DJ, and just had fun. No videos, no production numbers. Have we all gone overboard? Or am I just getting old? If so, just a word of advice hijos y hijas, always think of your guests. I know you are doing all of this to the remember this moment by forever, but always think of how your guests will feel. A wise man once said, “You may not remember everything that happened, but you will remember how you felt.” Social media always captures the good, no one wants to know the ugly. So please, mind the time, the gap.

Pues, I know this won’t change a thing, and the weddings will get more Kardashian than ever, but hope that the political incorrectness will get you thinking. So, it’s your turn and your time!

 

Te hecho a menos,

Tita

 

Photo from Unsplash