Maria Katrina Paras

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Life Lessons from Trentahins

<p>I don’t know about you, but every trip around the sun feels like a personal invitation to pause and reflect—to take quiet inventory of where my time, energy, and attention have gone, and to assess the kind of life I’m intentionally (or unintentionally) cultivating. If there are things that no longer serve me, this is the moment to release them. It’s also a season for gratitude—for all everything that has passed. Like summer’s warmth and winter’s stillness, each phase brings its own highs, lows, and lessons that, when truly realized, deepen into wisdom.</p><div><br/></div><div><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772264005764METRO THUMBNAILS.png" style="width:700px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded"/></div><div><br/></div><p>As I celebrate my 35th birthday (officially mid-30s now), indulge me in sitting with a question I’ve been mulling over lately—one I also posed to a few thoughtful individuals: <strong>What did your 30s change your mind about — about life, work, love, or yourself?</strong></p><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772264335498Patricia.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">Patricia Bautista-Saez</span></span></span></div><p>&quot;I entered my 30s believing it was the decade where everything should finally feel settled — but I’ve discovered it’s actually my era of becoming. Between leading a company and embracing the beautiful chaos of raising two toddlers, I’ve learned you don’t step into roles fully formed — you grow into them, and with each new responsibility, your capacity expands alongside you.</p><p>My 30s also reshaped how I see time — I no longer fear getting older, because I see aging for what it truly is: a profound gift. I’ve never felt more grateful to be another year older, or more aware of how lucky I am to have that privilege.</p><p>I’ve traded the pursuit of material “more” for what truly sustains us: my family’s health, our collective well-being, and the daily commitment to becoming better humans.</p><p>In business and in life, I’ve stopped performing and started living — building something with lasting impact, dancing more, and pouring intention into both my work and my family.</p><p>I’m not just growing older; I’m growing deeper, and honestly, I’m excited for my 40s.&quot;</p><p>—<strong>Patricia Bautista-Saez, 38</strong></p><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772264524720Jay Jay.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded"/><span class="fr-inner">Jay Jay Lucas</span></span></span></div><p>&quot;My 30s made me chase the things of this world—fame, riches, accomplishments, and recognition. I became competitive and hustled like my worth depended on what I could achieve. I pushed forward relentlessly, believing success would satisfy the deeper longings of my heart. But when disappointments came, and life spun in unexpected directions, everything felt fragile. In pursuing so much, I had quietly set aside what mattered most–my relationship with God, time with my family, and a life of serving others were no longer my center. I allowed loss to incapacitate me when it should have drawn me closer to God. Now I see that loss was not meant to break me, but to realign my heart to what truly matters.&quot;</p><div><strong>—Jay Jay Lucas, 44</strong></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772264680539Lou.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">Lou Batac</span></span></span></div><p>&quot;If my 20s were about self-love, my 30s are teaching me the joy of serving others. Something shifted in me when I had the opportunity to help a loved one in a big way.</p><p>Without prompt or invitation, I found myself compelled to give. Finally, all the hours of work, all the missed parties, all the sacrifices, basically, all the adulting made sense and felt like it was all worth it. </p><p>I can honestly say my 30s are the only season where I have the trifecta of &quot;adult&quot; money, the full autonomy to make decisions, and a genuine heart to pour into others instead of myself. Any other season, you&#x27;d probably be missing one or two–my twenties were my selfish era with no savings, and I enjoyed it for what it is. </p><p>Nowadays, I am happiest when I get to pass down words of encouragement or wisdom to younger colleagues, when I get to spoil my friends and family, or simply when I get to show up for people in the way they need me to.  The joy of your 30s is not about having it all but having the power to give it all away.</p><div><strong>—Lou Batac, 34</strong></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772264826900Stacy.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">Stacy Gutierrez</span></span></span></div><p>&quot;Looking back at my twenties, I can see how much of my worldview was shaped by a quiet victim mentality. I often felt wronged and misunderstood, and I carried that lens into almost everything. I thought I was standing in empowerment, but much of it was rooted in hurt. There’s a strange comfort in identifying as the victim—it brings validation and sympathy.</p><p>In my thirties, I’ve been learning a harder, quieter kind of strength. The kind that asks where I’m accountable instead of who to blame. Not every disagreement is oppression, and not every truth is an attack. Real empowerment is realizing you have the power to change yourself—not demanding the world change for you.&quot;</p><div><strong>—Anastazcia Gutierrez, 35</strong></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772264987802Joelle.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">Joelle Villafranca</span></span></span>&quot;My 30s changed my mind about being invincible.</div><p>I used to believe I could survive on unli-coffee, zero rest, nonstop hustle, and still function like a machine. I worked myself to the bone, convinced that being busy meant being valuable. I partied, drank, ate garbage, and said yes to everything just to avoid FOMO and feel seen. I thought I had to be loud, exhausted, and anything and everywhere all at once to matter.</p><p>That’s just how it was back then... or so I thought.</p><p>My rude awakening came when my body and sanity started sending painful signs I couldn’t ignore.</p><p>Now I know the importance of boundaries, really taking care of myself, and not waiting for my body to tell me to chill the eff out because that b**** is harsh.  </p><div><strong>—Joelle Villafranca, 41</strong></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772265224380Kate.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">Kate Paras-Santiago</span></span></span>&quot;When I was in my 30s, I thought I was already &#x27;learned&#x27;. After all, being in your 30s should count for something, right? Partly true, but now that I&#x27;m in my 40s, all I have to say is that life is truly a life-long class that you should be excited to keep attending. In my 30s, I realized life was flying by, especially during the pandemic. One day, I was 36; the next, I was already 39. It felt like life flew by like a blur. I am reminded to take each day, each week, each birthday as a gift from God. We are never promised the length of days on this earth, but we can truly make the most of it by first being grateful. Gratitude is a multiplier. As for work, my 30s also reminded me that what once felt like &quot;play&quot; is a serious business. Professionalism is key, and work ethics are a rare commodity these days. Treasure and hone them well. As for love, the kilig fades, but the beginning of real, commitment-bearing love begins. And as for myself? I truly believe my fun-filled, adventure-laden, colorful 30s paved the way for an amazing new decade called my 40s. I am amazed at how God has transformed me through the years, and I am humbled.&quot;</div><div><strong>—Kate Paras-Santiago, 41</strong></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772265675301JP.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">JP Cuison</span></span></span></div><p>&quot;So many realizations have come since I entered my 30s, but one of the most significant—especially in my field—is this: competitiveness doesn’t help my creativity. I used to think being competitive would sharpen my edge, but it actually dulls it. Competition is rooted in survival. And survival mode activates the animal brain. Creativity, however, lives in the neocortex—the part responsible for imagination, empathy, and higher thinking. When I’m focused on winning or proving myself, I shrink. But when I choose empathy, selflessness, and purpose, my creativity expands. Turns out, the goal isn’t to outdo others—it’s to create from a place of meaning.</p><div><strong>—JP Cuison, 42</strong></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772265859482Pat O.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">Pat Ojeda del Castillo</span></span></span></div><p>&quot;My 30s taught me to find my own voice - who I am outside of my career, my roles, my relationships. And once you know who you are and hear your own voice clearly, it’s all about trusting yourself and filtering out the noise of others’ definitions of happiness or success. I’m finally building a life I want, aligned with who I really am inside.&quot;</p><div><strong>—Pat Ojeda del Castillo, 39</strong></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772265970085Michael.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">Michael Karlo</span></span></span></div><p>&quot;My 30s taught me to value the soul of the craft versus chasing the volume of the hustle. I stopped trying to be everywhere and started focusing on being present exactly where I am. Love shifted from the cinematic to a steady, quiet partnership that doesn&#x27;t need a filter to feel real. I developed an intolerance for the mediocre, realizing that life is too short for bad coffee or toxic company. I replaced the need for constant social validation with the quiet confidence of a &quot;table for one,” as situations require. I moved away from defining myself by what I consume and toward defining myself by what I truly appreciate. I entered my 30s looking for the best of everything and came to the understanding that the &quot;best&quot; is simply wherever I feel most like myself — where the &quot;@thehamburgero&quot; persona finally met the man behind the handle.&quot;</p><div><strong>—Michael Karlo, 32</strong></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772266115822Janine.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">Janine Khazaie</span></span></span></div><p>&quot;In my 20s, I thought it was about proving myself; now it’s about protecting my peace, my energy, and the life I’m building. Marriage also changed me–real love is work, commitment, and choosing each other every single day, especially on the hard days.</p><p>I also learned that not everyone wants what’s best for you, even family or friends.</p><p>So I’ve become more intentional about who I let close, who I listen to, and who I share my life with.&quot;</p><div><strong>—Janine Khazaie, 35</strong></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><span class="fr-img-caption fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" style="width:600px;display:block" width="600"><span class="fr-img-wrap"><img src="https://od2-image-api.abs-cbn.com/prod/editorImage/1772266223665Missy.jpg" style="width:600px" class="fr-fic fr-dib fr-rounded" width="600"/><span class="fr-inner">Missy Laborte</span></span></span></div><p>&quot;Having children brings joy that is truly nonpareil. Motherhood gives you a sense of empathy that no other experience could provide.</p><p>My 30s taught me that success means little if you come home to no one to share it with. There is more to life than work, and building the people around you feels far more fulfilling than keeping achievements to yourself.</p><p>And in love, the longer you hold on to the wrong person, the longer you delay meeting the right one.&quot;</p><div><strong>—Missy Laborte, 35</strong></div><div><br/></div><p>&quot;As for me, my 30s have been beautifully brutal—a profound awakening, to say the least. I once imagined this decade would cement my convictions and settle my beliefs. Instead, the first half has tested them deeply, refining what was inherited, assumed, or prematurely adopted.</p><p>It’s the humbling realization that some thorns in the flesh may never fully be removed—only surrendered, again and again, to the One who formed me. This is the season where faith moves from theory to action, where the values I claim are finally lived, not merely spoken. It’s also a time of rerouting—of allowing heaven’s GPS to redirect me when paths I once felt sure of reveal themselves to be misaligned.</p><p>My 30s are asking me to live more openly: to share my voice and convictions while accepting that misunderstanding and criticism will come. I’m learning, slowly but surely, that I’m not meant to be everyone’s cup of tea—and that cultivates a quiet confidence. After a 20s shaped by people-pleasing, this decade is about growing a backbone: knowing who I am, and whose I am, and stepping into the freedom God has always intended for me.</p><p>It’s also been softening. A willingness to honor desires I once dismissed in my 20s—marriage, motherhood, homemaking—not as limitations, but as meaningful callings worthy of consideration.</p><p>As I move into the remaining half of my 30s, the mantra I’m carrying into this year is simple: <strong>35: It’s time to thrive.</strong></p>

<p>Now firmly in my mid-30s, I asked people what this decade clarified, softened, or completely rewrote in them.</p>

Now firmly in my mid-30s, I asked people what this decade clarified, softened, or completely rewrote in them.

Life Lessons From the Trentahins

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Life Lessons From the Trentahins

Danah Gutierrez

Published February 28, 2026 04:00 PM PHT

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Updated February 28, 2026 04:15 PM PHT

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Life Lessons from Trentahins

30s Life Lessons

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